


The Truth As Told By Little Green Men

by poetically_ordinary



Series: Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alien Encounters, Gen, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Prompt Fill, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:57:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8477938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetically_ordinary/pseuds/poetically_ordinary
Summary: The Avengers get called in to handle a new species of Aliens who have come to earth. As imagined, the situation doesn't go down the way they expected.





	

The call comes in at 2:36 am. Steve summons them all for a team meeting ten minutes later. Tony is the last to enter, no surprise there, and he’s juggling three coffee mugs in his hands.

“You stopped to make coffee?” Are Clint’s first words to Tony in the last seventy two hours and already Tony wishes that Clint would go back to – ‘I’m only speaking to Stark when the mission calls for it, otherwise he’s dead to me’ mentality.

“It’s called an automated system Hawkeye, get used to it.” Is Tony’s reply. It’s missing any real snark in it, but the entire conference room fusses silently as if Tony had just flat out told Clint to go screw himself. Tony walks over to where Bruce is, the only one who seems to not be glaring at Tony out of the corner of his eye – its way too early for this shit- and Tony hands over one of the mugs.

“One sugar?” Bruce asks and Tony nods. “Thank you.” Tony takes his seat and takes a sip. He notices that the others are glancing at the other coffee in his hand that he isn’t drinking.

“Don’t even think about it. This one’s for me too. If you want one, go get it yourself.” Just to make it absolutely clear, he takes a sip of the second one. He gets eye rolls for his antics as everyone turns to look at Steve.

“Alright, enough joking around Stark. We’ve got a mission. At zero-zero-forty-seven hours-”

“Just say 12:47, is that really that hard?” Tony mutters over the rim of his cup and Steve ignores him while a few people shoot him disapproving looks.

“-a spaceship entered the atmosphere. Now there’s already been contact, but apparently things are on a standstill because the extraterrestrials refuse to speak with anyone but the ‘Hero of Earth’. Now the President called me to-”

“Wait, the President called you? Please tell me you have a red phone in a case. One of those old fashion ones? Did it light up? If you don’t, tell me right now and I will _make_ you an awesome red phone that lights up when the president calls.”

“Tony be serious for once in your life.” Natasha scolds and Tony gives her the shadiest shade he can possibly give this early in the morning without proper caffeine levels kicking in.

“I would, but I don’t know if my _ego_ could handle that Nat. You seem to know so much about my _ego_ , why don’t you tell me?”

“Tony that’s _enough_.” Steve snaps and Tony rolls his eyes before leaning back in his chair.

“Whatever you say oh Captain my Captain.” The deep breath that Steve has to take is slightly satisfying and for a moment Tony redoes the calculations in his head about how much longer before his new mansion is outfitted with FRIDAY and he can just move in already and get _out_ of here. Ever since the wayward Avengers got their ‘Presidential Pardon’ (and no wonder why – apparently this guy and Steve were BFF’s) Tony’s felt hilariously out of his comfort zone. He’s not sure if this is a new development, with the others poking at him and tormenting him just because they can and because they feel that they’ve won something and he needs to be punished and ostracized…or if, even more terrifyingly, this was just common procedure before and Tony just didn’t notice.

“So the Avengers have been called in? Why not just you? It’s clear they want to talk with you.” Tony’s starting to fear that his eyes are going to actually see the back of his skull by the end of this meeting with the giant eye roll that he can’t help at Maximoff’s statement. There are _so_ many other people that these visitors could be talking about. Much better candidates as far as Tony is concerned. For all they know this isn’t even about one of the so called ‘superheroes’ that run around in stupid costumes, this could be a full on Galaxy Quest moment and who they should really be calling in is someone’s agent to get them booked and over here quickly.

“I know, but we both thought that there was still a chance that this all devolves into violence and it might be best to have us all there just in case.” There are solemn nods all around and Tony stands, leaving the area to go get the suit before he can say anything that might end him up with a black eye or two.

He’s barely finished choosing which armor to use – Since Rogers got absolutely no useful information about the potential threat so how is he supposed to know what he needs? But no, ‘Master Tactician’ here people, bow in awe - and letting it close around him when FRIDAY speaks.

 _‘Boss? Rogers would like access to the lab.’_ Tony shakes his head.

“Tell him I’m on my way up.” He uses the external hatch to fly out and around the building once before landing near Steve. “What did you need?”

“I could have come down.” Is Steve’s immediate reply and Tony shakes his head.

“Yeah…nope. None of you are allowed down in the lab anymore, you know that Rogers.”

“Tony, when are you going to stop pushing us away?”

“Maybe never?” Steve lets out a frustrated sound.

“I’ve been in your lab before, there’s nothing I haven’t seen down there.”

“Yeah, but the lab is for ‘trusted friends’ only and you are neither of those words.”

“I’ve said ‘sorry’ Tony.”

“And yet – that doesn’t magically make things better.” Tony shrugs. “Can’t always get what you want I guess. Now, you called me. What was it for?”

For a moment, Steve looks like he wants to argue his previous statement with Tony but the timeframe that they’re working under isn’t allowing it. Instead he gets an almost shifty look. “They’re asking for Captain America-”

“No, they’re asking for the ‘Hero of the Earth’ you’re assuming that’s you.” Steve’s fist clenches and it makes Tony smirk under the helmet.

“We all thought that it might be best to present to them the full image.” Immediately Tony knows what’s Steve’s talking about.

“No.”

“Tony, this is getting ridiculous.”

“You’re telling me.” Steve takes a second to breathe at Tony’s jab and not for the first time Tony’s semi-grateful that Bruce is the Hulk and not Steve because _way_ too easy to piss him off.

“I need the shield.”

“Too bad.”

“It belongs with me.”

“And yet it’s Stark property so, there’s the brakes.”

“Tony…” There’s so much irritation inlayed into his name.

“Yes Steve?” Tony asks sweetly.

“I need the shield.”

“Too bad, even if I had _wanted_ to give it to you – which I don’t – it’s not here.” That’s a lie. It’s downstairs right now, sitting with all the other trash that Tony hasn’t gotten around to properly disposing of yet.

“Where is it? Can you get it?” Tony makes a show of looking at his wrist.

“Hmm, let me check my schedule. How about…between the 1st of ‘Don’t Count on It’ to the 3rd of ‘Never Gonna Happen’? How does that work for you?” Steve’s face scrunches in the obvious Herculean effort to not lash out at Tony and the small timer dings to let Tony know it’s time to leave. “Oh, we’re out of time, lovely conversation. Let’s never do it again. Chop chop, we have to go.” Tony takes off before Steve can say anything to him.

They’re nearing the landing coordinates before Tony gets a call from the jet. “Iron Man, you’re on perimeter.” It makes Tony pause for a second.

“Why?” Clint comes in clear in the background, answering his question before Rogers can speak.

“Because they’re looking for a hero and not an egotistical mass murderer with a god complex?” Steve calls out Clint’s name in reprimand, but it’s clear that they’ve all been either talking about this or they all semi-agree with it.

“Yeah, no can do. Iron Man out.” He turns off the link before anyone else can say anything. “FRIDAY, how much longer until full integration?”

 _‘One more week Boss. If you wanted I could book you a room or send in a request to stay with Colonel Rhodes?’_ FRIDAY’s been offering that since the ‘Great Return’ and Tony shakes his head.

“No, too dangerous. One more week. Can I get a countdown marker?” A small countdown starts displaying with the tune of ‘The Final Countdown’ playing in the background. Tony laughs at FRIDAY’s attempts to cheer him up and he feels lighter as he drops to the ground in front of the clichéd black vehicles. The Jet touches down moments later and most of the Avengers walk off. Bruce of course stays behind, unless they need a Code: Green. There’s clear irritation in their body language.

“Iron Man, turning off the Com’s during a mission is not allowed.” Steve snaps at him and Tony does a shrug.

“We’re pre-mission Cap.” Is his only answer as he turns away from them and towards the Men In Black™ “So, where are our little green friends?” One of them points off towards a small, empty looking warehouse.

Steve does a nod and goes forward, tapping on his ear piece. There’s nothing but silence for a moment before they hear someone unknown talking over the line.

“They’ll be here soon…oh, here he is.” There’s silent for a moment before there a horrible screeching noise like someone is killing a small rodent and various angry chitters. Tony quickly does a scan of the building, looking through the walls at the small almost humanoid looking Roswell aliens on one side who are fleeing back into the ship and the side of agents who are immediately pulling up their guns and pointing it towards them.

“This is bad. I’m going in.”

“Stand down.” Steve tells him over the ear piece and for a moment he considers disobeying the direct order, it’s only because the weapons from the agents go down as well that he waits. From what he can see, Tony watches as one of the aliens steps out of the group before speaking in slightly broken English.

“Why you bring him? Why? Hero. Want Hero. Not Monster.” Tony’s eyes widen under the faceplate for a second.

“They’re calling Steve a monster?” Wanda asks baffled and Tony shrugs.

“I guess they’re better judges of character than we thought.” Natasha barely has time to shift between the Witch and Tony before Wanda’s magic has a chance to lash out.

“Wanda, stand down.” Is her order and the girl takes a second before huffing and looking away.

Tony can see the agents stepping forward again. “You said you wanted the Hero of Earth? Here he is, Captain America.”

There’s more angry chittering. “Not Hero. Erskine’s Monster. Leave” There’s a moment where Tony feels slightly vindicated.

“Well…I guess they know exactly who he is.” He turns to the agents near them. “Pull Rogers out, he’s just upsetting them and you’ve got too many triggers in there for this not to go down badly.”

“We’ve got the situation well in hand Iron Man.” The agent tells him, clearly a Cap fan, as Tony hears the screeches and the chittering get worse inside. Steve is clearly trying to minimalize the situation but one of the smaller aliens throws a small projectile at Steve and all hell breaks loose in there. Tony takes off, rushing over there before dropping in the ceiling and immediately disarming all of the guns before rising from his kneeled position and turning to look at the aliens.

He’s not really sure what he’s expecting. Full blown panic – maybe the aliens blowing up the white house like in Independence Day.

Instead they all seem to stand, their large eyes seemingly getting bigger before the one who has clearly been translating all the whispered chittering looks at Tony and says reverently, “The Hero of Earth…Iron Man.”

There’s a pause before Tony speaks the only thing that crosses his mind.

“Well I didn’t see _that_ coming.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Revelations brought by Little Green Men](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8603926) by [Doodlegirl1998](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlegirl1998/pseuds/Doodlegirl1998)




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